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I believe that every person that flies a lot has some horrific story. l will go ahead and post mine now. Hopefully it will make you laugh as I was truly made miserable.

The worst flight I ever had was on time, landed early, had no electrical problems, my luggage wasn't lost, etc. It was a flight from St. Louis to Baltimore. I was traveling with two others that I work with that were sitting about 10 rows in front of me.

I got on the plane as one of the first to board as I am a frequent flier. I got situated and not too long after a woman that I would guess to be around 40 years old but is very petite (normally a good thing for the person next to you to be small) gets the window seat next to the seat I'm in (an isle seat). As she's getting into the seat, she grabs a pillow and first thing she does is close her eyes and nestle into the corner of her seat near the window. To myself I'm thinking "yes, I won't have to talk to her on this 3 hour flight from St Louis to Baltimore." Then she lets loose a loud and smelly fart. I'm not kidding it was rancid. All the while she is pretending to sleep. There is no way something that foul could come out of a sleeping person. I'm not kidding, my eyes watered. Great. We haven't even finished boarding people yet.

People continued to get on and I hear the occasional butt trumpet blast from the girl sitting next to me. People stopped coming on board and the attendants did their count of empty seats. There were 3. There was one opening in front of the flatulent wench. Also vacant were the window and middle seats across the isle but on the same row as me. There was a guy sitting directly across from me that I soon would learn to hate. I hear "bring on 3" as one attendant yelled from the middle of the plane to the front where the door was located. Within a couple minutes (and another couple sinus busting gas attacks from this female thing sitting next to me) on walks the two largest people I've ever seen on a plane. They were a couple (I'm assuming man and wife) each carrying a very small child (probably 2 and 3 years old). They were so ridiculously large that they had shuffle sideways down the isle of the plane. They get to the open seats and they decide that they needed to switch kids as the woman could better hold the little girl (the younger of the two) and the guy should take care of the little boy. Immediately, both kids start crying and screaming and pointing to the other parent. They work their way to their seats which is a task as neither one of them can really fit between the seats. Their bellies are touching the seats in front of them and those seats aren't reclined. So think of an oversized beach ball with a little kid balancing on it and you have the woman. The guy strapped the little boy into his own seat. The boy goes completely mental kicking and yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs. The big fat guy doesn't make his kid mind, of course not, instead he softly says, "please stop that, that isn't nice, you are kicking people, please stop." About this time an attendant walks by and the bastard across the isle says "I'll switch with her - pointing to the fat lady- so they can all be together." What he really meant was "this seat sucks and this is an excuse to get out of it." The attendant said that it would have to be after the plane reached elevation as we were ready to taxi out. All the while, the woman next to me is calling out to all vultures as she continues to put out the stench of death on a regular basis. And these aren't farts that make you frown or cover your nose. These are loud audible blasts that make you want to vomit. And the plane is full so no where to run.

We get up to 35,000 feet and the captain turns off the seatbelt sign. Faster than a Carl Lewis start, the guy across the isle is abandoning his seat. He has to wait about 5 minutes for the woman to be able to get her enormous self out of her seat as she's wedged in there pretty good. So he goes to his seat where the only thing that he has to deal with is the noxious fumes as now he's sitting in front of the "sleeping" woman and her death trumpet.

The large woman who has now given the little girl to her husband grabs the little boy and proceeds to stand in the isle with her ass in my face. There is no escaping this ass as it is too great. The options are to lean in further to the stink or risk being put into orbit around this humongous female. Neither are good options. The little boy leaps up and the woman catches him and puts him straddling her side. So now I have a little kids shoe right in my face as well. I soon discover that the kid is wearing the most painful shoes ever. Not only are the soles hard as he kicks me in the side of the head, but they stick to everything that they touch, like the skin on the side of my face.

I soon discover something really really bad and that is that the standing globe of a woman is blocking air-flow out of my section of seats. So now, the air doesn't even get completely clear before the next gas attack hits. I keep praying that soon the attendants will come through and make her sit, but no, on this flight, they take their time. People start needing through to use the bathroom. Does she sit down? No. Does she move to the back to let them by? Of course not. She puts one leg in her seat area and leans in. Now the enormity of her butt can not be removed by such a meager attempt. So now, every person that walks by has to make the decision. Do I want to put my crotch in this guy's (mine) face or do I want to plant my ass on his head? I found the number to be eerily even amounts. Though I did find more guy crotches and more girl butts. I think it was that guys knew they were going to have to rub by the woman and didn't want even the thought of touching her with their crotch in their mind.

Finally, the flight attendant comes through and clears the isle. They make the woman squeeze into her seat for drink/snack service. Finally, the airspace clears a bit. I get a chance to look up at my traveling companions. They both look back at me and just smile great big. Just like they knew what was going on and thought it was funny. I hated them right then.

The snack came through and the ripping queen (still "asleep") was polite enough to stop her plane warfare long enough that I could drink my pop and eat my trail mix. But the cease fire didn't last long after that. So the attendants come by and collected the trash. At this point the man who for the first time I notice is wearing overalls. I didn't know they made those that big, but anyway, he had to go to the lavatory. So the whole herd had to get up and out into the isle. The little boy was kind enough to give me a kick in the shoulder as a reminder that he was still around and that he wasn't through we me just yet. As expected, the woman didn't attempt to get back into her seat. It was a serious ordeal to get squeezed in like that, so I can understand. So finally the guy comes back and gets back into his spot by the window. The woman... You guessed it. Stands in the isle. My head must of fit in one of the dimples on her butt or something. I was just thinking to myself, "if she farts, I'm going to freaking lose it."

Of course this is a good time to remind you that I still have a woman passing gas about every minute or two. I look over to see the source of my misery. I start looking to see if perhaps I can find a blanket to set next to her butt as some sort of gas filter. At this time, she adjusts in her seat. I mentioned that she's small, well, she turns sort of sideways in her seat so how her ass is pointed right at me (my leg). Somehow, thinking of this pushes me deeper into depression. I'm still only about half way through this flight. I know the attendants are limited, there are no spare seats, etc. It is just a bad situation. But wait, it can in fact get worse.

The little boy who is back perched on his mama's side (where he is actually more over the top of me than before) is now getting to eat a snack. You know how little kids don't really know how to use their fingers? They just sort of put everything into their fist and try to gnaw at it from there. Well, that is this kid. He has those orange colored peanut butter crackers. And for every morsel that he gets to eat, crackers rain down on me. Of course if it were just peanut butter crackers, that would be... well, not ok, but understandable. But no, it is mixed with kid spit. So not only do I get pelted, it leaves a pretty little orange mark where it lands. Of course I don't know how many crackers he eats as I started trying to figure out how many crackers he would have to eat to reach the Jaba size that based on his parents he was destined for. Then of course my mind started wondering to how in the world did those two have sex? There is no way that he's actually seen his package in a LONG LONG time and well, you get the idea. The little boy finally finishes his snack after what seemed like an eternity. And it was back to the kicking. A little later, something upset him and he started crying and his nose started running. I'm sure you can guess where both of those great fluids landed. And don't forget about the fumes and those needing to get to the bathroom being forced into my face space.

Finally the captain comes over the radio and says "we caught some good winds and are going to be able to land about 20 minutes early." I've never heard anything better in my entire life. I start cheering and clapping and the others in the section do also, though none of them have endured what I have. This wakes up fart girl. I ask her if she needs to use the bathroom, she lets me know that she's fine (I disagree). The good news is that while awake has stopped fumigating the aircraft.

We land and finally get off the plane. My co-workers were talking about what a great flight it was. I still hated them. So for those keeping score. On this one flight I was farted on (repeatedly and without mercy), kicked, nearly had my skin ripped from my face and arm from a kid's shoe, slobbered on, had wet crackers land on me turning into orange goo spots, cried on, snotted on, forced to endure hours of up close and personal time with one of the world's largest butts along with guest appearances from passerby butts and crotches. I don't think I left anything out.

Can anybody top that?

Maybe i missed it when the old forum died, but when I heard we had a Lost nussie theme week i waited patiently. She never came.....

So I decided to do it myself.

I present Evengeline Lilly, also known as Kate.

Yes this post a a day late.

To continue Lost week and tie into the Maxim shitty Hot 100, here is Rebecca Mader, also number 98 on the Hot 100. She was a scientist or some shit. She died.

I would do her, I enjoy a good ginger. Derrick would not do her, he thinks she is ugly.

brianontario started a thread in TOMB that I thought those that don't visit TOMB would also enjoy.

Rules are simple
RULES:
-post a picture of a girl. Could be a celeb, random nussie, anyone
-the next poster then looks at the girl and states if he would or not do her
-that same poster then posts the next picture
-try and post one picture to keep thread size bearable to load, unless the picture is kinda hard to see her face.

Even if you are not the next poster you can still say you would or wouldnt, but just don't post a new picture.
:worthlesswopics:

I'll start
Yvonne Strahovski

Lost week continues.

Shannon. Her brother wanted to fuck her. She banged a Republican Guard instead. She died.

Derrick will like her.

Throw your slingbox info here. I still have not taken my modem to the basement like we previously discussed on the old DBN forum. I hope to do it this weekend and get the slingbox running. I got the blackberry storm last week and they stated that I can get slingbox on it, but to download the app would void the warrenty. They said that since I pay monthly for insurance though, that I just download the app and if the phone ever breaks just drop it in water and get a new one.

I am still waiting for them to come out with a slingbox with built in wifi so I do not have to go through all this shit. I will buy that one on first release. I am gonna predict it will be out by May 2011.

I want to start by saying Derrick will not like this one.

Still on the Lost theme for the week, kinda turned into two weeks, my Nussie Of the Day, henceforth to be called NOD, is Elizabeth Mitchell, otherwise known on the show as Juliet.

She is 39 years old and has touched naked bodies and bare boobs with Angelina Jolie in Gia. She also has made out with Angelina Jolie.

Now I know she is not a drop dead hottie, but she is definite LEE my favorite couger out there right now. She has a great body and a "I will fuck your brains out and make you beg for more" look to her.

























TAKE IT AND GO!

Lately one of the most important things on my mind has been getting job interviews. I've gone on many interviews in my life, but have never really gone on interviews while I'm unemployed. It certainly challenges your confidence when landing the job means that you might not have to worry any longer about losing your house. I thought a good topic for discussion would be any horror stories you may have had doing an interview. So, ya got any?