09-01-2011, 02:53 PM
Have any of you ever heard my story about when the Mormons stole my luggage when I flew into Salt Lake City? This was 12-13 years ago. I don't think I ever posted it.
I'm a pretty laid back traveler and I hate to get into the fray of claiming luggage. So if I'm not in a rush, I will just stand off to the side and let the masses go through and get their suitcases and then when it thins down I'll walk up and get mine. That was the case on this day. I was off to the side and was just people watching. It clears up and I start looking for my bag. No bag. Now my suitcase was green and this was before green became a really regular color for suitcases. It always stood out at this point. So I start walking towards the American Airlines luggage room and I happen to glance over to my right. I see my suitcase. I put a piece of white shipping tape across the top of my suitcase as a marker and it was there.
So I walk over and I realize that it is in a roped off area. As I get closer this woman that is about 5 foot nothing and nearly 5 feet wide and has the face of a bulldog comes over to me and asks if she can help me. I tell her that my bag is in that area. Her reply is that "the church tried something new for all the kids going away on a mission during a certain time. They bought them all identical luggage so that it would be easier to identify. So this luggage is all of that as they are coming back from there mission." I explain to her that I'm not a kid, I'm not on a mission or returning from one, and that I'm not Mormon but that is my suitcase. She asks if I can wait just a couple hours as that is when the last kid is expected back and they will sort out all of the luggage issues then. I tell her that there is no need for that. I'm here, that is my bag, there is no need to have to sort out anything. I'd like to leave and take my suitcase with me. She tells me again that those suitcases are being held for the Church. I clarify that she won't give me my suitcase. By this point I'm pretty much an unhealthy balance of confused and angry with a touch of several other emotions thrown in. I make a move towards my suitcase as I can reach it without stepping over the ropes and she intercepts me to prevent it. At this point I definitely cross a line when I tell her something about her religion and cults, but I don't recall exactly what I said, but she immediately turned to the dark side. I step away and she moves my suitcase into the middle of a group of others (that all looked just like mine except for the tape).
So I wander around the SLC airport for a little while and I see a police officer. I start to walk to him and about 50 yards down I see a black police officer. I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but in my head I thought "the odds of him being Mormon are pretty slim." So I walk up to him and I say "the Mormons stole my luggage."
He blinks and stares at me. ... ...
"what did you say?"
"I said, 'the Mormons stole my luggage.'"
He says, "explain more"
So I tell him about the exchange though I will admit that I left out the cult part. And we walk over.
This guy was HUGE. I'm not small @ 6'2" but I pointed to where it was and then I trailed him. As we approached, the woman couldn't see me because I was behind this guy. She asks him if she can help him and I step out from behind. Her face was AWESOME. It didn't drop, but she set that jaw and immediately turned red.
The cop says "this gentleman says you have his suitcase."
The Mormon Lady "as I explained to him, the kids are coming in and we are securing all the bags that look like this as the Church bought them for the kids going on mission."
Cop: "do you know if that suitcase is his."
Her: "no, I never looked."
Cop turns to me and says "which one is it?"
I point out the bag that is now in the middle of about 60 that look the same except for the strip of tape.
Cop: "you need to verify that it is his bag and if it is, give it back to him"
Her: "I'm not keeping his bag, he was told that he could get it if it is his after the last kid arrives."
Cop: "If you don't give him his bag, I'm going to have to arrest you for possession of stolen items."
She looks at me, and through gritted teeth says "go take it."
I hop the rope and go get my suitcase. I go back over with my ID and show the tag on the bag to the cop. He didn't care. All the while, she was staring a death wish into my skull.
I went on my merry little way with a story I can share forever.
I've been back to SLC several times since but never had any issues at all. But I'd wager that woman still remembers me and hates my guts.
I'm a pretty laid back traveler and I hate to get into the fray of claiming luggage. So if I'm not in a rush, I will just stand off to the side and let the masses go through and get their suitcases and then when it thins down I'll walk up and get mine. That was the case on this day. I was off to the side and was just people watching. It clears up and I start looking for my bag. No bag. Now my suitcase was green and this was before green became a really regular color for suitcases. It always stood out at this point. So I start walking towards the American Airlines luggage room and I happen to glance over to my right. I see my suitcase. I put a piece of white shipping tape across the top of my suitcase as a marker and it was there.
So I walk over and I realize that it is in a roped off area. As I get closer this woman that is about 5 foot nothing and nearly 5 feet wide and has the face of a bulldog comes over to me and asks if she can help me. I tell her that my bag is in that area. Her reply is that "the church tried something new for all the kids going away on a mission during a certain time. They bought them all identical luggage so that it would be easier to identify. So this luggage is all of that as they are coming back from there mission." I explain to her that I'm not a kid, I'm not on a mission or returning from one, and that I'm not Mormon but that is my suitcase. She asks if I can wait just a couple hours as that is when the last kid is expected back and they will sort out all of the luggage issues then. I tell her that there is no need for that. I'm here, that is my bag, there is no need to have to sort out anything. I'd like to leave and take my suitcase with me. She tells me again that those suitcases are being held for the Church. I clarify that she won't give me my suitcase. By this point I'm pretty much an unhealthy balance of confused and angry with a touch of several other emotions thrown in. I make a move towards my suitcase as I can reach it without stepping over the ropes and she intercepts me to prevent it. At this point I definitely cross a line when I tell her something about her religion and cults, but I don't recall exactly what I said, but she immediately turned to the dark side. I step away and she moves my suitcase into the middle of a group of others (that all looked just like mine except for the tape).
So I wander around the SLC airport for a little while and I see a police officer. I start to walk to him and about 50 yards down I see a black police officer. I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but in my head I thought "the odds of him being Mormon are pretty slim." So I walk up to him and I say "the Mormons stole my luggage."
He blinks and stares at me. ... ...
"what did you say?"
"I said, 'the Mormons stole my luggage.'"
He says, "explain more"
So I tell him about the exchange though I will admit that I left out the cult part. And we walk over.
This guy was HUGE. I'm not small @ 6'2" but I pointed to where it was and then I trailed him. As we approached, the woman couldn't see me because I was behind this guy. She asks him if she can help him and I step out from behind. Her face was AWESOME. It didn't drop, but she set that jaw and immediately turned red.
The cop says "this gentleman says you have his suitcase."
The Mormon Lady "as I explained to him, the kids are coming in and we are securing all the bags that look like this as the Church bought them for the kids going on mission."
Cop: "do you know if that suitcase is his."
Her: "no, I never looked."
Cop turns to me and says "which one is it?"
I point out the bag that is now in the middle of about 60 that look the same except for the strip of tape.
Cop: "you need to verify that it is his bag and if it is, give it back to him"
Her: "I'm not keeping his bag, he was told that he could get it if it is his after the last kid arrives."
Cop: "If you don't give him his bag, I'm going to have to arrest you for possession of stolen items."
She looks at me, and through gritted teeth says "go take it."
I hop the rope and go get my suitcase. I go back over with my ID and show the tag on the bag to the cop. He didn't care. All the while, she was staring a death wish into my skull.
I went on my merry little way with a story I can share forever.
I've been back to SLC several times since but never had any issues at all. But I'd wager that woman still remembers me and hates my guts.
